ailsya avriel
3 min readJun 7, 2023


a love-life that you’ll cherish forever.

lately, life has been so toughful. i forgot how many times i had found myself mentally unstable around this 2023. merely i was hard to enjoy my serenity these past 3 months. i was tend to almost gave up for one of the biggest impact of my life in these past half year; love.

its funny how 2022 gave me tons of dreamy n unreal moments of my life. when 2023 stepping in, those sparks switching off into worst pain. i can’t even translate my own feeling into words to write them down. the eagerness to write something sometimes its gone don’t know where, because i wasn’t in stable mind to feel the exact life i supposed to. i barely existing, not living.

in other from that, i have so many purposes that i have to pursue. that time, i asked myself ‘what if i stuck at this kind of situation forever and lose everything?’. i strive for everything eventho not from the start, but what if i forgot the main route that i supposed to chase?

no matter how far i lose myself, i keep remembering the first track that i should’ve not forget.

i kept convinced myself that no matter how hard things going on for me, i just have to focus on the first track that i’ve taken before. my purposes. no matter how negative thoughts tried to filled my head, no matter how many times the same old mistake kept repeated, i still have to focus on what i have to pursue.

stepping out into an ‘almost a year relationship’ with him was tough enough. since the early of 2023, theres shits came through frequently. start from the simple one, the not a big deal one, and the biggest impact ever. as i remembered, there are few moments when we both seems can’t connect each other like it used, we lose our old sparks of love and even we were hard to develop our bond.

after so many shits along this year, we learned so much from that. i thought probably those shits merely exist try to tempt us how far we understand our partner n how it will bring to the better phase of your relationship. to step into the new phase of your love-life. to more find out that theres still an intimacy that surely exist and it getting stronger by the time.

i thought that love is when you realised that both of you are living in the present and don’t care about what happens next. love is when you truly bare with him/her and show off yr flaws without get any judgements. love is when you’re not always can be connected to each other, but to be commit for each other for countless times.

love is when beautiful sparks didn’t exist constantly as you wish it will be. love is when the sparks seems gone, but both of you still can feel it and know that it’ll comeback when it’s the right time. love is not only to be understandable to your partner, but to yourself.

i hope that someday you have your own kind of love-life that you’ll cherish forever.

a love-life that brings you up to the better version of yourself.

a love-life that lead you to grow slowly.

a love-life that invent your own language that you’re not going to speak it with anybody else.



ailsya avriel

sometimes i write for people, sometimes i write for myself. reach me on ig @ailsyaavriel ^^