in this end of July, i really wanna thank God for some events that came thru my life these past 2 months who gave me much of mixed feelings, untitled emotions, etc. i learned one of the thing that no matter how hard we strive so bad for something, if we won’t ever be deserved for that thing, it wont be ours. June-July seems so remarkable in my life ever since last year. because this June & July i experienced the whole same thing as last year; failures.
failures really taught me many things and changed my point of view about life. that failures will always be biggest part of our journey without us realize. failures are the aspect of maturity. the biggest impact in our life. we never learned something without experienced it. sometimes it took so long to recognized that maybe this is how life’s actually works. this is the real life. we maybe kept thinking that failures is our flaws, but then you end up will grow from it. you eventually grow from those things that you won’t expect it’d be the important thing who had changed you as a person.
failures allow us to improve and grow.
i’d never discover new part of myself if i didn’t learned something and improve from those failures. i wouldn’t be created as this tough if i didn’t pass those events in my life. many things could changed us a lot as a person, esp as we grew up. you’ll find out that there are several things that you wish won’t be always fulfilled and that’s how it works. those happend to make us think that life sometimes could be out of our control.
as times goes by, i take every failures as a self-improvement. i do believe that God won’t let us experienced something without have some reasons behind it. perhaps, every each person need to take a very long time journey to accept their grief over failures. so do i. you’ll pass so many kind of phases that you can’t easily take it for granted. and that’s totally okay if you need forever just to accept the grief, because it is very understandable. we let several things came thru our lives and they gave us reason why they choose us.
i’ve been strive for something these past 2 years and when i’m on my last hope, i still got nothing. i failed for couple times. then i see myself as someone who probably never deserve that thing. because if that thing really invented to be ours, then without we strive it, it’ll be ours. but if that thing may not invented to be ours, even when we strive for it desperately, it won’t be ours. for so many grief, pain, and a never-ending sadness over failures that we ever experienced, just take your time to heal as much as you can bear. you don’t have to force yourself for something that can’t be forced.
all my grief says the same thing- this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. the world laughs, holds my hope by my throat, says: ‘but, this is how it is.’