i am learning to finally be kind to myself.
Never had I thought that growth really changes a lot the past in me. The times and seasons changing just to taught me again and again as a person who’s slowly learned how to be kind to my own self. They said that ‘a slow progress is still a progress’, that’s why I tend to believe that doing it slowly makes it ease for me to not being that harsh to myself. That eventhough I used to spend many times how to get along from the pain, the sorrow, and the traumas, I finally reached what the real phase of ‘growth’.
I asked to my old self ‘do you wanna be like this, forever?’ that no matter how many times I keep asked and seek for any reasonable answers that can cure all my traumas or sadness, there’s nothing I could do instead of bringing myself to step forward and continue what I had to continue. Turns out, moving forward and step ahead will lead us getting close to found more little bits of joy and love that we never thought we do deserves it no matter what the past lives that we had.
The act of learning how to be kinder to yourself isn’t that easy as its says. It might took forever to finally stepped into the moment when you can embrace all the traumas, the worst nightmares, the pain, and all the sorrow you’ve had been through alone. But, you have to believe that time will makes it worth in the end. There will always be some joys and love that surrounds you to keep you stay alive and be grateful for anything that you’ve been carrying through this far.
If you tend to hard to find any reasons to stay alive, then just live for any joy or love that can speak loudly to you how far you’ve done so great and how you deserves it.
Becoming a people and also facing growth at the same time, perhaps made you thought growing up isn’t your thing. The fact that it hits you close to home that you were just missing your own childhood and cherish the youth. That growing up will always took you to overwhelmed, but it’s also a lead journey to 1 step at a time to getting close to your own destination.
Growing up means you’re slowly getting to be distant from the people you used to be close with. It’s the phase where you can’t forced people to stay keep in touch with you. Times will proves it how people slowly changing and passing by.
Learning to be kind to ourselves means that you slowly pouring down sum love to your own life. It doesn’t mean you have to forced yourself to love all the past within you, but loving the present that you live today. The person you’ve had become today. It’s the time when you finally reached out the stage of pour your own love to yourself. The sweet genuine love that no one can give it as same as you do it to yourself. Learning to be kind to yourself is when you get the exact amount of love not from anyone else, but your own.
And, it doesn’t always have to be perfect. Sometimes, we can’t dismiss that there will be days when we can’t pour that love to ourselves or even we struggled to found that love for ourselves again. It’s good to reached this far, you did it so great. After what the world had been done for you, chose to keep going for any little bits of joy and love that surrounds you… is one of a kind of love n kindness that you can only pour to no one, but yourself. Thank you for doing so great this far and keep going for the smallest things that surrounds you everyday. It’s because you indefinitely deserve it.
The days will pass, the nightmares will ends, and the pain will ease.
